Your Words, And How You Use Them

Achieving success, reaching our goals and realising our potential is so much more than just getting a better job or starting a business, so that you can lots of money to buy nice things. It’s about becoming the best version of ourselves, and the best that we can be in all areas of our lives. It’s about becoming well-rounded people who raise and inspire others while we constantly pursue personal and professional development.

So, what i’d like to ask you today, is that you be nice to other people. Treat others with kindness, compassion and respect. Even those you would rather just avoid. Put all judgement aside, and aim to be a good person. Those who you often think deserve it least, turn out to be those who need it the most.

This is easier said than done, though, as we all get tired, frustrated, angry or upset and in turn take this out on other people. We are very quick to brush this off as harmless stress-relief, and just expect those on the receiving end to understand and forgive us if we apologise later. But, once those words come out of your mouth, it’s already too late. You can’t take them back, and you can’t undo the damage which has been caused. Before you lash out at somebody else, just remember that they are a human being with feelings. They are somebody’s mum, dad, daughter, son, brother, sister… Ask yourself, would you treat your own loved ones so badly?

You have no idea what struggles other people face on a daily basis, and the potential damage that one rude comment can do to another’s confidence and self-esteem. By the same token, you also have no idea the extent to which one positive, encouraging or supporting comment can do them the world of good.

Your  words, actions and body language have tremendous power. So, think very carefully about how you will use them. You can either build someone up or tear them down, without even realising it.

In a world full of big egos and where a dog- eat- dog mentality prevails, be the exception. Success doesn’t have to be achieved by trampling on the hopes, dreams or self worth of others. It can be achieved by believing in, supporting and raising others. Rather than discourage people, or try to pretend that you are something special or that nobody else can achieve what you have, help others to believe in themselves. Support others in the pursuit of their own dreams. Who day they might become a major client of yours, or you might end up collecting their artwork, but that might never happen if you become just another negative voice pouring scorn and derision on them.

Your words and actions carry tremendous power, so please use them wisely.

“No” is not a dirty word. Embrace it.

Wherever we look, there is a battle going on for our attention. It’s big business. There is a whole array of books, seminars and programmes devoted to it, because attention is priceless. Once someone is granted your attention, they can use their sales and marketing techniques to try and manipulate you into buying something you don’t want, or doing something you don’t want to.

Most of the time we don’t realise that we are being manipulated into doing another’s bidding . Even when we do, it’s only after the event, or because we feel unable to decline or picture any alternative and therefore just go along with it. The downside to all of this is that time, focus and energy is taken away from our own lives. We stop doing whats important to us. Our progress slows and our relationships become strained, all because somebody else convinced us that their need was all that mattered. This is why we should start saying no, and stop putting the wants and needs of others before our own. Of course, there must be give and take in life but we need to be careful of just how much of ourselves, our time and our energy we give.

If it sounds a little selfish, that’s because we sometimes have to be. In this case, putting yourself, and those you care about the most, first is absolutely necessary if you want to be happy. If you handle the situation respectfully and with tact, people will respect your decision to say no. What form this “no”  takes will differ from person to person. For me, I prioritise my own journey and the goals which I am working towards, alongside spending quality time with my family. As such, I say no to things which can divert my energy and attention away from what is important to me, such as resisting the temptation to check work emails at home. When you say no to things which you don’t want to do, strange things happen, such as an increase in productivity. You find yourself getting fewer requests, and having more time to do what makes you happy. Most significant of all, though, you get to focus on what’s important to you. Your confidence also gets a healthy boost as you take back control of your life and stop being led by others.

The more you try to help others  and accommodate their wishes, the more they will ask of you. However, if you say no to whatever you don’t feel to be a good use of your time, people will soon get the message and leave you in peace. Say no, and watch as your happiness, time, confidence and productivity all get a healthy boost

Be kind online

We live in a digital, connected, age and more of our lives are being spent online. For a growing number of people, this is their main source of communication, information or entertainment.

Please don’t get me wrong. This is a wonderful thing, and opens the door to an incredible amount of opportunities and experiences. There is, however, a dark side of which we need to be aware. Thankfully, with a little effort, we can do something about it. 

The problem stems from how we regard the time we spend online. For some it provides a space in which they can take a break from their daily lives and adopt a new persona, in effect becoming someone else. In person someone might be polite and respectful, only to adopt an online alter ego through which they vent their pent-up frustration anonymously. It”s the lack of empathy in these online interactions which is worrying.

It”s easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment but we must always strive to treat others with respect. Regardless of whether we are communicating and interacting with them online or in person. Growing up, we are taught to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated. It is now more important than ever that we remind ourselves of this.

We all have the power to brighten up the world around us and to bring happiness, but it is through our interactions with others that we can achieve this.

We all have frustrations and annoyancestors which build within us, but there are better outlets for this, such as exercising or spending time outdoors in nature. 

Our ultimate aim should be to leave a positive impression on everyone with whom we interact. It is simply not possible to do this every single time, but that does not mean that we should not at least try. We should aim to;

  • Be mindful that there is a real person on the other end of every interaction or conversation. You are communicating with a human being who has feelings which can be hurt by your angry comments.
  • In your online interactions, only say that which you would be prepared to say in person, if the two of you were to meet.
  • Be yourself (unless, of course, you are an entertainer, actor, comedian, musician…). Drop the alter-ego and just be you. This opens the door for genuine interactions which could lead to wonderful new places.
  • Be kind. You have no idea what demons others are fighting, and how much of a positive impact they might experience after some positivity or encouragement from you.

One thing, above all, worth bearing in mind is the permanence of our online interactions. Increasingly,  a prospective client, employer, business partner or date will turn to Google and carry out a quick search of our name in order to get a feel for who we are before meeting in person. So don’t sabotage your future success by saying something online, just to vent your frustratons,  which you would never say in person.