Purpose, Goals and Happiness

If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes

Andrew Carnegie

Happiness is an internal job, largely determined by what we allow to take up our time, focus and attention. It doesn’t lie in money, status or material possessions, but in determining our purpose in life and living in accordance with it.

So, it stands to reason that if you want to be happy, you need to do some work on yourself. Put your money away, and log off your computer. Instead, pick up a pen and notepad, and answer the following questions honestly;

  • Self reflection. What do you really want from life? What do you value? What are your priorities? When are you at your happiest and most productive? What are your non-negotiables?
  • Current status. Now that you have reminded yourself what is most important in your life, and what you feel to be your “why” for doing what you do every day, it’s time to check where you are with this right now. Are you living in accordance with your purpose, beliefs and values? Are you making progress in the right direction? Now that you can see the bigger picture, where are you right now?
  • Goal setting. With the big picture of your life fresh in your mind, this is the time to revisit your goals. Do your goals reflect your purpose and what you hold dear? If not, change them. It’s no big deal. Sometimes we cling to goals, circumstances and relationships which we have grown because we fear what might happen if we let go. Life is all about change. As we grow, learn and develop, our needs, wants and priorities change too. This is why it’s important to reflect on yourself regularly, and if something’s not working for you, change it. Change is not to be feared, but a natural part of a fulfilling life.
  • Planning and action. With your goals fresh in your mind, determine the timeline and what resources you have at your disposal. Where are your strengths? What areas do you need to work on? Where do you anticipate any potential problems arising? With your plan set, all that’s left now is to take determined action. Throughout the journey which you are embarking on, be constantly aware of what is or isn’t working. Be brave, and use this feedback to adapt your approach and keep you marching onward towards your goals.

When you know who you are, what’s important to you and what your purpose in life is, expect to feel happy. Genuine, lasting happiness. The kind of happiness which is contagious and will attract the right people into your life.

Expect happiness, you say? Yes. When you live in accordance with your purpose, and set goals which reflect this, deep down you know at all times what you are working towards. Every action you take, every day, no matter how small, is getting you closer to your goal, one step at a time. This is where genuine happiness comes from. You don’t need millions in the bank, houses, cars and luxury goods. You don’t need to chase other people or change who you are to be accepted by them. You will face challenges and have bad days. Other people will try and discourage you from your path. None of that will matter, though, and you will be unstoppable. Why? You have something much bigger – a purpose, goals which reflect this purpose, and a plan of how to get there. All of this depends on you, how much you want it and how hard you are prepared to work for it. The power to bring positive results into your life is in your hands alone, and what you make of the opportunities which you have. This is where true happiness comes from.

Be yourself, and live your life on your own terms, as you want. Then, you will find true happiness.

Man’s real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so

Edgar Allan Poe

Happiness, And How To Find It

Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to “be happy”. One the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically…

…Once an individual’s search for meaning is successful, it not only renders him happy but also gives him the capability to cope with suffering

Viktor Frankl

Everybody wants to spend the majority, if not all, of their time in a state of happiness. Which stands to reason. Releasing those pent-up endorphins and experiencing genuine happiness is one of the most powerful feelings available to all of us. In that time during which we are happy, our mood and mindset is positive, the world is a wonderful place and nothing can bring us down. But how do we find genuine, lasting happiness?

Social media and marketers constantly bombard us with messages about the products or holidays which we need in order to be happy. So we fall into the trap, buy their stuff, become happy for a while, but then we see something better which we want. So the happiness wears off and we need to spend more money buying more stuff. All this leads to is a situation where we have lots of stuff, but a lack of money, and feeling anything but happy.

We also seek happiness with other people, which is a dangerous game to play. At its worst we find ourselves compromising our beliefs and values just to be accepted by others.

Increasingly, though, people are turning to self-help books. These books claim to offer us the blueprint to happiness, the shortcuts to success and the guide we need so that we can start living the life of our dreams right now. Well marketed but lacking any real substance, most of these are best avoided. There are some exceptions to the rule, though, and I would highly recommend the work of Tony Robbins among others.

The above, however, is all a lie. Permanent happiness and an easy life is a myth. Life is often referred to as a rollercoaster ride, and I couldn’t agree more. Life is not straightforward, and it doesn’t follow a formula, but it has ups and downs, twists and turns. That’s what makes it so exciting. The experiences. The good times give us pleasure, joy, happiness and good memories. The bad times teach us valuable lessons. It’s important to embrace both equally.

Happiness, then, is not about material goods or fitting in with people who are not right for you. It certainly won’t be found in a “how to” book. After all, we are all different, with different hopes, dreams, strengths, weaknesses and drives. Happiness is internal. Only you can make yourself happy, and you do this through your own perspective; how you view the world and your place in it.

This is why it’s important that you become clear on your life’s purpose and the reason why you are here today. We are not put on this Earth just to waft aimlessly through life before fading away, like a fart. Each of us has their own contribution to make and their mark to leave on the world. It could be that you make your impact as a spouse and parent, raising, supporting and providing for a family of your own. Or, you may be destined to make your mark in the art world, the music industry or in business. Or perhaps philanthropy, conservation, politics…

Reflect on who you are, what you want from life, what you hope to achieve, what your strengths are, where your weaknesses lie, what you value and where your priorities lie. This will help you to identify your purpose. This will give meaning to your life, and once your life has meaning, it all makes sense. A life with meaning is more focused, as your thoughts and actions become geared towards living in accordance with your purpose and working towards it. Most of all, though, when you have a purpose and your life has a meaning, you experience true happiness which lasts. And it doesn’t cost a a thing.

Happiness need not involve spending a penny. It’s not about having nice things and lots of money. In fact, some of the happiest people you will ever meet are those that have the least. They are happy, however, because their life has a meaning. They know what they want and are striving towards it. They also know that when things go wrong and they suffer, they are going through hell for a reason. For instance, parents will gladly endure whatever hardships life can throw at them, for the sake of their children. And a husband will endure a job which he hates but pays well, so that his wife can work part-time while raising their children. They are happy because their life has a reason. In the same way, a struggling actor or actress will juggle several jobs and live hand-to-mouth while performing in small productions. They will struggle in this manner and remain happy, because they know that this is all helping to get them closer to where they really want to be in life – Hollywood. Essentially, when your life has a meaning, even the most challenging of times can be a source of happiness.

If you want to be really happy, genuinely and deeply happy, figure out what your life’s meaning or purpose is. Once you have determined this, live according to it. That’s the formula which works. It takes hard, introspective, soul searching and reflection but in the end it’s all worthwhile as your perspective shifts and your quality of life improves for the better.

Purpose Or Pleasure, Which Do You Choose?

What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him

Viktor Frankl ~ Man’s Search For Meaning

If I had to pick one book to take with me on a desert island, there is a clear winner. Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Many books claim to be life-changing but they rarely are. They fire us up and fill us with energy and enthusiasm, but as they can sometimes lack anything of real value to take away, they are soon forgotten after we’ve finished reading. This book, however, is the exception. Frankl actually had the manuscript prepared before the outbreak of World War 2, only to lose it on arrival at Auschwitz. Written in the aftermath of World War 2 and drawing on his personal experiences and observations, it’s powerful, moving and gives you plenty to reflect on.

This, however, is not a book review. I do believe, though, that this book should be read by everybody at some point in their lives. Viktor Frankl’s work is a timely reminder that we don’t have to continue living in this Freudian manner which can be so damaging, but that there is a better way.

According to Sigmund Freud, we live our lives according to the pleasure principle (German: Lustprinzip). What this means is that our natural tendency is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is the purpose that we attach to our lives. We want as much pleasure as possible, and as little pain, in order to satisfy all of our biological and psychological needs.

If you want to see Freud’s pleasure principle in action, just look around you. You can’t miss it. It’s in the quick-fix diet and exercise plans which are yours for 3 easy installments of £100. It’s in the seminars, books and training programmes which promise to make millionaires of us without any formal training or experience.

These quick fixes and shortcuts only gain any attention or popularity because people are desperate to believe in them. People would rather pay whatever it takes to skip the blood, sweat and tears and skip straight to the positive results. They want the good stuff (the pleasure) while avoiding the pain (hard work and consistent effort) as much as possible. So, with a horde of lazy, impatient, gullible pleasure seekers desperately hunting for a quick fix or a shortcut to success, there will always be a receptive audience for the well marketed but baseless diet, exercise or financial success plan.

Social media has only worsened the situation. Seeing pictures of people’s perfect lives fills us with envy. We want what they have and now. And when we do get it, we are never satisfied because we want more. We want it now and don’t want to wait. So, we turn to credit cards and loans in order to buy things which we don’t want or need, just so that we can experience some momentary pleasure. Life just becomes a vicious cycle of seeking pleasure, getting what we want and then seeking more. And when we don’t get what we want, we become downbeat and disheartened.

Living according to the Freudian pleasure principle is dangerous. It robs you of so much of life’s richness and beauty. First of all, pleasure is a short-lived sensation. We lose sight of what is important in our lives and chase things, experiences and people. We get what we want, we experience a high, and then this wears off and we need something new to chase. If we fall short of what we want, this can be very damaging to our confidence. So, life becomes an emotional rollercoaster.

Secondly, we miss out on all that life has to teach us. When we strive for something, work tirelessly for it and fight our way through all of the challenges, we learn an awful lot about who we are and what we are capable of. We learn what works and what doesn’t. We learn what we are good at, and what areas we need to work on. We learn about what we hold important. Plus, when we do achieve positive results after working hard and struggling through difficult times, the positive boost we receive is long lasting. We grow in confidence as well as experience and gain the courage to strive for more challenging goals. Life is all about experiences and personal and professional growth, but this is soon lost sight of when we choose to live according to the pleasure principle.

This is why Frankl’s work is more important now than ever. Instead of living as hedonistic pleasure seekers, we should instead focus on the determining the meaning of our lives.

  • What is your purpose?
  • What is your “why”?
  • Why do you do what you do?
  • What is the endpoint which you striving towards? What do you hope to chieve or become by the end of the process?

Theses are all variations of the same question, and it is a question which is being increasingly asked in business and personal development literature. That is not enough, though, as it is something that we should all consider. When you determine what you hold dear in life, and what it is that you are striving for, life becomes clearer. You have something to aim for, and you are prepared to endure any hardship in order to achieve it.

Having a purpose in life, and working towards it, is healthy not just for us as individuals but also for our friends and families and society too. We become more focused and less insecure. We stop becoming so materialistic. The sense of competition with, and judgement of, others stops. Instead of judging what others have and trying to outdo them, we realise that everyone is on their own individual journey and that we should help each other rather than putting each other down.

Having a meaning or purpose in life is also a celebration of our individuality. My meaning will be different to yours, because we are different people with different drives, wants, needs, priorities and values. You won’t find your meaning in a book, but through honest reflection instead. It’s a reminder to be yourself, focus on what is important in your life and stop compromising your values in order to fit in with certain groups.

A happy, successful and fulfilled life is one with meaning and a purpose. What is yours?

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

The Meaning Of Life

One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfilment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus everyone’s task is as unique as his specific opportunity to implement it

Viktor Frankl ~ Man’s Search For meaning

Live Your Life Inside – Out

Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life…Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it

Viktor Frankl

Everybody is unique.  Everybody has different drive, purpose, passion, wants, needs and desires. That is what makes life so beautiful. Most of the time. Different people coming together and living happily. Think about how boring life would be if we were all the same and lived the same way? Boring, to say the least. We would cease to be human, and become living, breathing robots.

So, now that we agree that we are all different and this is a good thing, that raises another question…Why do we try to copy others and live their lives? Or, why do we let others dictate our lives (parents, friends, partners…)? It makes no sense. You can study Bill Gates, Warren Buffett or anybody else as much as you like, but no matter how hard you try you will never be able to copy their lives and achieve what they have. What worked for them will not work for you, because you are different people and your circumstances are different. While it’s great to study successful people and look for lessons which you can apply to your own life, blindly copying them will only lead to frustration and failure. The same is true when it comes to letting loved ones influence or dictate our lives. Live your life as they want you to, and the only person who you make happy is them. Instead, learn from their experiences, and see whether you could apply any of it to your own life. Rather than waste your time and talents trying to become somebody else, why not look inside yourself, figure out who you really are, what drives you, where your passion lies and what your purpose in life is?!

Live your own life, and live it as best you can. Compete against yourself only, aiming to become better today than you were yesterday. That is the key to happiness. Living somebody else’s life will only lead to disappointment.

It’s easy to read these things and nod, but what does this mean? In order to live your own life, you need to really know who you are. This starts with some honest self-reflection. Ask yourself;

  • What do you value?
    • Family and Friendships
    • Integrity and Honesty?
    • Health and Fitness?
    • Accomplishment and Success?
    • Influence?
  • What are 3 non-negotiable things which you need to do every day in order to feel happy and a sense of achievement?
  • What does a perfect day look like to you?

This is just a start on the road to self-awareness, but an important first step to discovering who you really are and what you have to offer the world. Once you know who you are, you can start living accordingly. Most of all, self awareness allows you to take control of your life by taking responsibility for your decisions and actions.

Taking responsibility for your own life, or being proactive, is how you discover more about yourself. It’s also how people become successful, because they don’t wait for good things to come to them, they get out there and work for them. Every day. When you take responsibility for your life, and become proactive rather than reacting to situations and circumstances, you gain a clear idea of what you want to become and do in life. Moreover, you better understand that the power to make this happens really is in your hands.

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognise that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answering to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible

Viktor Frankl

Man Vs Machine

Usually, with a title like the above, an article will describe in detail just how far technology has advanced in a relatively short time. There are also the inevitable questions about what these advances could mean for our jobs and what the future could look like.

Today, however, I want to look at a rather different aspect of the relationship between man and machine. That aspect, is all about what machines can teach us.

Humans are creators of their own destiny. Our lives are fluid, spent continually experiencing things, learning and growing. We decide who or what we want to be become, and if we put the work in, we have a good chance of making this happen. We have countless opportunities open to us, as well as freedom of choice. Machines are very different, though, but they have an awful lot to teach us.

This key difference is in the way machines are created. Unlike humans, machines are created for a specific purpose. Machines are made to fulfil a particular role, or solve a problem. Trains, cars, planes and buses are made in order to effectively transport people from one place to another. Smartphones are made to enable effective communication and instant access to information. Kettles are made to boil the water with which we make the coffee which powers us through the day. I could go on, but you get the idea. There is a very specific job which these machines and equipment perform. A kettle can’t decide to become a bicycle and transform itself. The purpose for which these machines and gadget are made is often very specific.

As with machines, purpose is what we need too. Purpose gives your life meaning and direction. It provides all of the motivation and drive which you will ever need. This is the big lesson which machines can teach us – find your purpose, and then go after it. Of course, we have the power to achieve and become whatever we want, but without purpose your life will be aimless. After all, if you don’t know what your purpose in life is, and what you were put here to achieve, you will set goals which will leave you unfulfilled and drifting through life. There is power in purpose, and you need to reflect on, and find, yours before even setting your goals. Define your purpose first, and then set goals and take the actions that will help you to live according to it.

Machines suffer breakdowns and malfunctions, but they can be repaired and put back to work. Machines are resilient, suffering setbacks but getting fixed and put straight back to work.

In much the same way, we experience setbacks, problems and roadblocks on our journeys. As with machines, we need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and keep going. While machines can prompt us to find our purpose, they can also teach us the value of resilience and perseverance.

So, perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to be a little more machine-like. After all, when your life has purpose it takes on a new meaning, and when you’re resilient and persistent you will achieve great things because you’re still going strong long after everybody else has given up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Money and material wealth is not the answer

“I wish everybody could get rich and famous and have everything they ever dreamed of, so that they will know that it is not the answer”

Jim Carrey

Too many people view the money as the key to leading a more successful, fulfilled life. The reasoning behind this is that the more money they have, the more comfortably that they will be able to live. The truth is very different though. Money doesn’t bring happiness. It can’t, because money itself is simply a tool with which we exchange value. Money is either given or received in return for services or goods. Simply put, we provide a service to an employer (otherwise known as work) for which we are paid. This money is then exchanged for goods and services which can range from mortgages and household bills to cars, holidays, clothes or whatever else takes your fancy.

Far from bringing happiness and satisfaction, the pursuit of money can often bring the opposite. As we earn more, we crave more. This is because our tastes change. For example, a person may be earning £30 000 and living comfortably within their means. They have a house with an affordable mortgage, a decent car and enough money to live well but also save a little. All in all, life’s good but they feel that if they earned more, life would become a little easier and they would be able to do more.

Later, an opportunity arises for professional development which is taken advantage of, and now they are earning £50 000. In theory, if they continue to live within their means, this extra money will make life a little more comfortable. Some do adopt this approach and live well. However, too many people get seduced by the images of luxurious living which they are bombarded with in glossy magazines and on social media outlets. They then decide that, as they are earning more, they can buy those things and that lifestyle, and when they do they’ll be happy. When happiness doesn’t come, after all, they chase more money with which to buy more. And so it continues…

It is worth repeating that fame and fortune do not bring happiness. The more we have the more we want, so are never fulfilled.

Rather than chase financial gain and the lifestyle which it can buy, you need a goal, a purpose or something which you strive for and gives your life meaning. In setting goals and chasing after them, or leading a life driven by a sense of purpose you will learn, grow, develop and bring value to the world. Fame and fortune may very well come to you, but as a consequence of the value you provide. As I stated before, money is a tool with which we exchange value. So, if you find yourself in a position to provide value to others, they may well be prepared to pay you for your time and services.

Aim not to earn the highest salary possible, but rather aim for continuous personal and professional development. Pursue an increase in knowledge, not your bank balance, and do your best daily to become the best, not richest, version of yourself.

 

The secrets for a successful life

If you’ve been reading some of my previous posts, you will know that I don’t believe there to be any real secrets when it comes to success. Of course, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of motivational speakers and gurus who claim to have all the answers if you sign up for their programmes, but I respectfully disagree. That is not to take away anything away from or discredit their work, though. The work which they do, and businesses which they run, help countless people take control of their lives and futures. The problem is that success itself is very personal and therefore difficult to boil down to a general set of rules and guidelines.

The definition of success, and what it means to live a fulfilled life, varies from one person to the next. This is because each of us has different dreams, goals and priorities. One person’s idea of success might involve having multiple houses, expensive cars and financial independence. For another person, success may be centered around spiritual development. For this reason, if you are to seek help on your journey, you should seriously consider working individually with a coach or mentor on a personalised programme to help you reach your goals.

Before you seek the help or professional services of others, though, here are a few things which could help you. In and of themselves, they may not bring you success and fulfillment, but they can certainly help to lay the foundations upon which you can build later.

  • Practice self-reflection. This will help you to better understand your dreams, purpose, strengths and weaknesses. You will gain a clearer idea of the direction which you would like your life to take, the goals to be accomplished along the way and how to meet the potential obstacles and challenges which you will undoubtedly face.
  • Practice gratitude. When you learn to identify and focus on what you have to be appreciative of, magical things happen. Expressing gratitude, whether publicly or in a private journal, improves your mood. Your mindset becomes positive and optimistic which in turn attracts positivity, but it also gives you the confidence and mental strength to keep going even when times become tricky.
  • Embrace life-long learning. Life is a journey of discovery so it makes sense to remain inquisitive. In order to keep moving forward, keep reflecting and learning. Reflection will identify areas for improvement, which you can address through learning. As you learn, your mind develops and grows through new experiences or knowledge gained. This means that you will be become better able to meet challenges in the future because of your new knowledge or experiences. Furthermore, it will also open up your mind to new possibilities.
  • Take care of your wellbeing. We have long been told that a healthy mind needs a healthy body in which to exist, which stands to reason, so we need to look after our physical health. This doesn’t mean that we should live in the gym, but there is a lot we can do to help ourselves, from getting enough sleep to trying to ensure that we eat foods which will provide us with the right nutrients. And of course, it helps to become more active. Just as important, though, is our mental health, which can be greatly helped if we surround ourselves with people who inspire us and challenge us to grow.
  • Pay it forward (wherever possible). We all have our own strengths and talents, and it would be a shame if we kept these hidden from the world simply through self-doubt. In sharing your gift, you can not only help and inspire others to follow their own dreams and passions, but you might also get some constructive feedback which could help you in your own development.

Experimenting with the above suggestions can help to lay the foundations upon which you can build a successful life by helping you to adopt a growth mindset.  This list, however, is far from exhaustive, and I would love to hear from you if you have anything further to add.

Profiting from your passion

Turn what you love into a successful business, and quit your 9-5 job!! This is the new dream which we are being sold. It’s everywhere we look from magazine articles to social media. Is it really possible, or just too good to be true? I am not about to try and find fault with this proposition, but rather urge caution. So yes, I do think it’s possible, but you need to be smart about it.

We read and hear of plenty of success stories in which people have turned a hobby or passion into a very successful and profitable business. They subsequently quit their jobs and are now wealthy entrepreneurs. On the other hand, there are plenty of people who gave up everything to pursue their dream only to be brought back to Earth with a vicious bump. Countless people are staking everything on their passion project and losing badly. This begs the question, as to why there are such extremes.

Having helped a number of people launch small business over the years, I would like to share a few pointers on what I have learned. I’ve said it before, the world needs more beauty and positivity, so we should create art and music, or launch businesses which will bring value to people and brighten their lives. However, too many people are rushing in to their new ventures blindly and leaving too much to chance, and it is this which. I would urge against

Your passion must be mixed with practicality. You must also be realistic about your expectations. Yes, you dream that you will take what you love and turn it into a very successful business. You can envision it. You can reach out and touch it. You can taste it and smell it BUT in order for it to go from dream to reality, there will be a lot of hard work involved. Your passion needs to be mixed with a strong work ethic, a well thought-out plan, a strategy of how you it will unfold, resilience and an incredible amount of hard work.

If you are serious about profiting from your passion and turning it into a viable business, there are a few things to bear in mind;

  • Research and Plan. You need a well-researched plan. Look at the market and who you might be competing with. Look at consumer trends and research the forecasts for the future within your chosen market or industry.  Use this information to plan wisely for the future.
  • Be financially savvy. Save enough money, or secure enough funding before you take your first step. It is a hard fact that many business run at a loss in their first year. This is because it takes time to establish yourself and build a customer base. Naturally, there are exceptions, but I would strongly recommend that you plan for this outcome. Plan for the best and work to make it happen, but have enough money in the bank to support yourself if it takes longer than expected for success to come. The last thing you want is to have to abandon your business and take a full-time job to pay the mortgage and bills. Worse still, you might keep your business only to be maintained by funding from an investor who pushes you to compromise your values. Give yourself a financial safety net, and remove one of the big pressures when starting a business.
  • Determine your strategy. You have a plan, a financial safety net and the drive to succeed. Next step? Work out how you will go about launching your business. Who is your audience? How will you grab their attention? What is your story? What value will you offer them? What is your marketing plan? How will you promote your business?
  • Hard work. You are now clear on what you want to do and how you will go about it. Now, just put the work in. Give it your full focus and attention and put in the relentless work. Take advantage of any networking opportunities and use social media to raise awareness of your brand. As you work, though, you must also reflect on your journey. Learn from the positives and negatives and use this knowledge to adapt and grow. This is a fluid process, and as you work towards making your business a success you need to keep learning and adapting. You need to have a plan and execute on it, but you also need to be able to respond quickly to any challenges or expand on what is working well.
  • Perseverance and resilience. There will be bumps in the road, challenges and rejections. This is unavoidable. The key is to keep going. When disaster strikes, reflect on it and see what you can learn from the experience. Learn from it and then get yourself back on track, stronger and more determined than before.

Having witnessed the struggles of people as they launched their new ventures, I would ask you to please reflect on the above so that you can avoid the same challenges. Research thoroughly, plan well, develop an effective strategy and go for it. Give it your full focus and attention, but don’t forget to take advantage of any learning opportunities on your journey and use them to adapt and grow. If the entrepreneurial route is the one for you, I wish you the very best and pray for your success.

Duty

“Man’s happiness lies not in freedom, but in the acceptance of a duty”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Duty is a word which we often hear in our daily lives, from the workplace to the church and everywhere in-between, but struggle to define. What actually is it? It’s sometimes interchanged with the terms purpose or responsibility, but is it really the same ?

There are a lot of similarities. Responsibility, as with duty, can mean being accountable for someone or something. It can also mean an obligation to successfully carry out an action. While there is a lot of interchangeability here with duty, the difference is that I regard duty as being the more powerful driving force of the two. Duty is intrinsically motivated. With a sense of duty, you become involved in an activity not out of self interest and gain, but rather out of compulsion, commitment and a drive that comes from deep inside. Duty is stronger than purpose too. Purpose illuminates the path towards a goal or aim, on which you will focusing your thoughts and actions. Purpose helps you to remain focused when things are going well and to get back on track when faced with challenges. A duty, however, runs deeper.

Duty is something which we feel morally obliged to do, but it is born within us only after we become more self-aware. In essence, duty comes from a clear understanding of the principles by which you will live your life. To be able to fully understand and define those principles, however, you must first have a good understanding of who you really are. If you truly hope to embark on a journey of achievement and discovery, at the end of which you fulfill your potential, inward reflection is the logical starting point. Once you have a good idea of your strengths and weaknesses, what drives you and what you hope to achieve from life, you are then in a good position to define your goals, purpose, duties and responsibilities.

In defining our duties and devoting ourselves to them, we can find fulfillment and a sense of inner peace. Subordinating and sacrificing ourselves to our duties can also give a deeper meaning to our lives, or simply make us happier.

 

 

 

 

Don’t hide your talent from the world

All of us have our own special skills or talents, unique to ourselves. The problem is that the world doesn’t get to experience much of it, because we are often reluctant to share our work for fear of rejection or ridicule. Today, I want to ask one thing of you;  please, just put your work out there. The world will be a richer place for it.

Whether your burning passion is to write, draw, dance or whatever else it may be, that is not important in the grand scheme of things. What matters, is that you share your passion with the world. In the current climate of fake news, and the fear and scaremongering peddled by the media, we need more beauty in the world. We need more people to have the courage to introduce the world to their talent.

This is not easy. At all. In publishing your work, you open a window to your soul. You expose your true self to the world, and this is scary. Nobody likes rejection. and in putting our work out in the public domain, that is exactly what we open ourselves up to. Moreover, as we are exposing our true selves through our work, it can feel like a personal attack if our work is not initially well received. This is actually a good thing, though, because, as we learn to overcome rejection we become resilient. When we become resilient, we develop the ability to better recover from setbacks but we also become more confident in ourselves and our abilities.

Putting your work out there can help you to connect with people who share your passion, and get feedback. It can inspire others to follow their passion too. Or it might just bring a little happiness to someone who was having a bad day before they came across your work. Yes, the response might not be overwhelming once your work is in the public domain. Just be patient. Some people may even be unkind in their feedback, but you have a choice, and can choose to focus on those whose feedback is positive and constructive instead. Who knows, your work might be viewed by someone with a wealth of influence and experience, and in turn could open new doors for you. Unless you try, though, you will never know for certain.

You may even hope to turn your passion into a new career or business. Again, i’d plead with you to put your work out there. Let people see and understand who you are and what you are passionate about. Give them a sample of what you can create and keep them hungry for more. Then, slowly expose them to more of your work, and if all goes well, you may find yourself able to scale it up and get paid to do what you love. Even if, after doing your homework, you feel that the market/ public is not ready for your work, put it out there anyway. Opinions change. Markets move. People embrace new ideas. You might find your work gaining popularity among the general public, or it might be welcomed by a niche market. Either way, you have to put your work out there and see where it leads. Don’t wait for others to dictate when you should share your passion. If nobody else is doing what you do, then put yourself out there and be the first. As business guru Peter Drucker once said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it”.

We have previously looked at planning and preparing for success. We have also looked at the benefits of taking action. I strongly believe that you need both in order to succeed, in healthy balance. Plan and prepare, but be careful of overthinking or waiting too long. Sometimes it pays to be bold.

Discipline

“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory was over themselves. Self-discipline with all of them came first”

Harry S Truman

When exploring the multitude of factors which have the power to influence or contribute to our happiness and success, there is one which reigns supreme. Discipline. Mastery over the self, and a certain level of control over our emotions and impulses, can bring serious benefits to all areas of our lives from our health and fitness to our relationships with others, our professional lives and everything in-between.

There have been a number of studies over the years which have explored the power and benefits of discipline in depth, and if there is one common theme, it is that those who practice self-discipline are often happier as a result. Better yet is the fact that discipline is a learned behaviour. It is not something that you are born with, but rather it’s within reach for all of us. So, if you want to become more disciplined, it is entirely possible as long as you put the effort and hard work in. And hard work it most certainly is. In order to become disciplined, you must master the self. This means becoming more aware of who you are, what motivates you, your hopes and fears and your vision for the future. Furthermore, you become more acutely aware of your emotions and what triggers them, leading you to becoming more effective at controlling them as well as your impulses. This culminates in a person developing a sense of balance and becoming more able to make better informed and more rational decisions, which are not governed by impulse and emotion. Your decision-making process becomes proactive and guides you towards your goals as you spend less time and energy simply reacting to the world around you.

Becoming more disciplined requires constant practice and reflection, but the results are more than worth the hard work and effort required. Alongside the increased self-awareness and impulse control, as you work on becoming more disciplined, you will find bad habits being broken and replaced with healthier, more productive ones.

When it comes to the “how” of becoming more disciplined, there is no singular, winning formula. This stands to reason, as we are all unique and on our own individual journeys towards our vision of success. There are, however, a few proven and popular methods, and i’ll end with my top 4;

  • Expressing gratitude. We live in an age of consumerism and are relentlessly bombarded with messages about things that we need to buy in order to be happy. The result is that we spend a ridiculous amount of time and energy focusing on what we lack, and how important it is for our future happiness to have it. Essentially, we are allowing our impulses and actions to be manipulated by clever marketers and salespeople. If you want to become more disciplined, you need to take control here. This starts with a shift towards appreciation and gratitude. Focus, instead, should be switched to what you already have and are grateful for.
  • Eating healthier foods, sleeping well and exercising regularly. Fighting temptation and cravings in order to lead a healthier lifestyle will build a healthy mind as well as a healthy body. As the saying goes, “Mens sana in corpore sano” or “a healthy mind in a healthy body”.
  • Organisation. This is one area which you can practice at work, as well as at home, in order to become more disciplined. In becoming more organised, you become better able to prioritise tasks and manage your time effectively, as well as your emotions and energy levels.
  • Resilience. Discipline is also about willpower and mental strength, and the one area where this guaranteed to be regularly tested is in our response to setbacks. As you develop the ability persevere through hard times, you will find yourself becoming more disciplined. This, in turn, will help you to develop the strength to bounce back from challenges and get yourself back on the path towards your goals.

 

 

 

 

Humility

It is becoming increasingly popular for people, in social media as in real life, to want to show the world the trappings of their success. These are essentially the designer clothes, jewellery and cars which give the outward appearance of wealth and achievement. The original meaning of the word trappings was the bridle and saddle decoration which riders would put on their horses to show how powerful and privileged they were. In modern terms, however, trappings has come to mean  peacocking and showing off. In short, people are tying their sense of self-esteem and self-worth to material goods and this needs to stop.

We need to stop feeding the narcissism and over-the-top self confidence of these people and deny them the attention which they crave. Of course, everyone should be able to celebrate their successes, but as with all good things it should be done in moderation. Instead we should be glorifying those who achieve greatly yet remain humble. The humble achievers. These humble achievers are not just found in the business arena, but in all areas. These are the people who have discovered their motivation and inspiration, determined their goals and set out on a journey to achieve them. They share their journey with others , so that they might in turn learn from them and be encouraged to define their own goals and embark on their own pursuit of them.

The humble achievers are those who choose to document their journey and process, with all its ups and downs, rather than the end result. They are as open about the hard work and challenges which they face on a daily basis on their journey towards their goals, as they are about the fact that they do not know everything and occasionally make mistakes. They are not driven by fame or social status, but rather their “why” and their purpose.

Here are a few more traits which the humble tend to have in common;

  • They engage with others and listen to their opinions
  • They accept that they have limitations and are open about them
  • They are considerate of others and their needs
  • They are open about their mistakes, taking responsibility for them and sharing what they have learned.
  • They reflect on what they have learned, how far they have come and how far they have yet to go. They are driven to keep learning, growing and developing.

I’ll leave you with quote from Laszlo Bock, Head of People Operations at Google;

“Without humility, you are unable to learn,”

What is your driving force?!

You may have heard of it referred to as your “why” and if you want to lead a successful and fulfilled life it is important that you know exactly what it is. Everybody has goals and dreams but it is your “why” or reason for being that has the power to set high-achievers apart from the crowd.

Your why is your purpose. It’s your reason for being. It’s a cause that you believe in deeply, to your core. Furthermore it’s a source of inspiration and motivation which will help you to rebound strongly from setbacks and problems and keep you going when times get tough. When you know why you are doing what you do, and find yourself on your chosen path, there is less likelihood of becoming disheartened and quitting when faced with adversity. On the other hand, it also keeps you grounded, humble and focused when you do start to make real progress.

There is a catch, though. I can’t tell you what your why is. Nobody can. For every individual it will, of course, differ. Only you can figure that out for yourself through honest reflection. There are, however, some questions which anybody can benefit from asking themselves;

  • What does success look like to you? Before you embark on your journey, you must know what it is the you are aiming for. If you don’t know where you are headed or what you are aiming for, you can’t possibly know when you are making progress. What does the end result look like? What do you want to achieve through your journey? Are you driven to bring about social change? Are you looking to start a business? Are you looking to strengthen your personal relationships?
  • What issues are you passionate about? What motivates or inspires you? What keeps you up at night, occupying your thoughts? What is the burning question that you want to answer, or change that you want to bring about?
  • If money were no object, what would you do? Put aside the pay check for a moment and the bills which need paying. If your finances were comfortable and you were in complete control of your destiny, how would you spend your time? What would you focus on?

Your why is your mission. Use the 3 questions above as prompts to help you find your own. It gives you strength in testing times and keeps you humble and focused when things go well. Find it and you will discover strength and ability which you may not have realised that you possess. Coupled with a deep belief in what you are doing, and a dogged determination to succeed, you will soon find yourself on a journey through life which is as fulfilling and meaningful as it is successful.