How Deeply Do You Want To Win?

When a man desires a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win

Thomas Edison

Do you dream about leading a successful, fulfilled life? Because if it’s just a dream, hope or a wish, then that is how it will remain. Or do you crave it, want it and feel drawn by it with every once of your being? Is it your first thought when you wake up in the morning and your last thought at night? Does it drive your thoughts, decisions and actions every day?

Desire is an intense motivation to achieve whatever you believe to be worthwhile, against all odds. With deep desire, you will be unstoppable in pursuit of your goals. You won’t let obstacles stop you, and you won’t be prepared to take no for an answer. You will do whatever it takes, until you make your desire a reality.

Thing is, we all know what we would like to have. We all know what we want, because social media dictates that to us; nice cars, big houses, fancy clothes….so we chase material goals. The problem here is that when we buy that Rolex or Maserati, the initial joy is replaced by a sense of emptiness. So we set a bigger material goal and go after it. We never stop, however, to consider why we want these things. We never stop to consider the direction we want our lives to take, or the people we want to become because we get caught up in a cycle of craving nice things, obtaining them and then moving on to the next shiny trinket.

I was caught up in this vicious cycle for far too long. I won lots of times, or at least thought I did because I had nice things and a comfortable life. But my confidence was low. I would achieve something, then immediately feel empty. Things would go badly, and I would give up. All this happened because I lost sight of what I truly desired in life, and was living without purpose. My life felt like a lazy river waterpark ride. It was as though I was floating on a slow moving river being gently carried along, no idea where I wanted to go or what I wanted.

I lived this way for far too long, and it took a serious illness which very nearly cost me my life for me to address the direction of  my life. It took me losing everything before I finally decided to ask myself what my vision for my life really was, not what others wanted for me. I determined not to waste a moment more of my life, and once I got home I put pen to paper and wrote down what I truly desired from life. What I wanted personally, professionally and financially. This gave me purpose, direction, hunger and my life took on a new meaning. I set my goals, drew up my plan and went after it with passion and desire. Going after what I truly desired was a very expensive act, though. It cost me everything, including my relationship. However, my life now had meaning. I had hit rock bottom but I was happy because I knew what I truly desired, and where my life was headed.

It’s not all doom and gloom. I lost everything but I knew what I wanted my life to look like. This was last November and since then, life has been better than ever. I am happier and more fulfilled than ever. I know who really cares about me, and have rid myself of fake friends and hangers-on. I am more self-aware than ever, more successful than ever and have reconnected with my faith, family and friends in a deeper way than ever. How? Because I know what I truly desire in my life, and knowing this has helped me find a new level of energy and strength which I never knew I had.

So what do you really desire? To achieve financial independence? A successful acting career? To positively influence the lives of others? Take a moment to honestly reflect on what drives you and write it down. What does your heart really crave? If you had a billion pounds in the bank, and money was no longer a worry, what would you choose to do with your life? How do you want to be perceived? What reputation do you want to have? What contribution do you want to make? What legacy do you want to leave?

Unless you know what makes your heart sing, and what you deeply want, your life will lack direction and purpose. This is dangerous because you could find yourself a slave to outside influences such as money or the opinions of others. Take control of your life by taking control of your life’s direction. How can you do this? By becoming clear on what you want from life

When you want something deeply enough, you will find a way to make it happen. Why? Because when you really want something you will do whatever it takes to make it happen. You will work harder than you have ever done before in your life. You will live and breathe your goals. Your approach to them will be relentless. Most importantly though, you will give meaning, passion and direction to your life.

So, what do you really want? Determine this and then get after it.

If you limit yourself only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise

Anaïs Nin

The Fire Within

January. The most wonderfully deluded time of the year. Everyone is keen to share their New Year’s Resolutions with anybody who will listen, and social media is full of every variation of the good old “New Year, New Me” post. Please forgive my cynicism, but come February 1st how many people will still be living their new lifestyle and still be working towards their resolutions? In my 36 years, i’ve made a lifetime’s worth of resolutions only to see them go out of the window not long after. It’s not all doom and gloom, though. People can and do make lasting resolutions and changes, and it’s something that anybody can do. How, I hear you ask…

The answer is simple, the only ones still standing next month and beyond will be those whose motivation is intrinsic. This means that their motivation comes from within. It’s more than just the pursuit of a goal which will earn a reward, it’s their purpose, their reason and their “why”.

For many people, their motivation is extrinsic, or motivated by external sources. This means that they are chasing their goals in the hope of achieving some kind of external reward, be it new clothes which they will treat themselves to if they lose enough weight, a promotion at work or the approval of others, for example.

The problem for those motivated by the hope of some external reward (extrinsic motivation) is that it doesn’t last. It simply cannot last. Sounds harsh, but it is also the truth. I know, because I have had to find this out the hard way over the years.

Externally motivated goals only work in the short-term and the reason is simple. Life is a rollercoaster ride with ups and downs. During the ups, extrinsic motivation works just fine, but it’s during the down times that it falls apart. In pursuit of a goal or resolution, you will undoubtedly encounter tough times and challenges. If your pursuit of the goal is tied to some reward, it is only natural to question, when times get difficult, whether it’s really worth continuing. This is the point at which people start to give up as they determine that the reward is not worth the time, effort or risk required.

When you pursue a goal or resolution which is motivated internally, the results are very different. Intrinsic, or internal, motivation is when you chase a goal for yourself. You’re not after a nice shiny treat. This is when you want something with every ounce of your being. A fire burns inside you for it. It is your purpose, and the reason why are here. It is your first thought in the morning when you wake, and your last before you go to sleep. This is the deciding factor between success or failure in pursuit of your goals, and it really works because it inspires you to keep going even on the most difficult of days, never giving up and never settling.

If you want something badly, deeply or strongly enough, you will do whatever it takes. You won’t just work for it, but you will suffer for it. When the difficult times come, you will persevere through the pain, misery and disappointment until you finally achieve what you set out to. Then, and only then, do you receive the greatest reward of all…the feeling of accomplishment.

Setting goals is the easy part in the quest for a more fulfilled and rewarding life. On the other hand, putting in the time and effort required, and persevering through the tough times, is incredibly difficult.

So, as well as considering what you want to achieve and how you plan to go about it, i’ll leave you with some questions which you may find helpful to reflect upon;

  • How badly do you want this?
  • What/ how much does achieving this goal mean to you?
  • What do you hope to have received in reaching this goal?
  • What are you prepared to do, or give, in order to achieve this goal?
  • What sacrifices are you prepared to make in order to be successful?


Whatever your goals, I wish you the very best of luck. May 2018 be your best year yet!!

The world doesn’t owe you a thing.

All too often, we encounter people with a sense of entitlement and a chip on their shoulder. They feel that success is owed to them, and that they should have it all. When success, fame and fortune fail to fall in their lap they don’t make any effort to chase that which they want, but simply become angrier, more resentful and more bitter. Today, I am asking you, please, not to be that person.

Being confident and aware of your strengths and weaknesses is a good thing, but as with all good things it is important to practice moderation. In this instance, without moderation, the ego takes over. People then overestimate their worth and the value which they bring to the world, which in turn breeds entitlement. They feel that they deserve more than what they currently have and, eventually, the world will realise this and give it to them.

The truth is that you are not owed anything and you can’t have it all. We get that which we work for and earn, no more and no less. So, if you want more from life, whatever it may be, work for it. Some people are fortunate enough to have opportunities handed to them wrapped in a bow, but I prefer to work for what I have. If nothing else, the experience itself of striving for something is itself a valuable teacher. Furthermore, when I work hard for something, I find that I appreciate it an awful lot more.

With the power of the internet, we all have access to the same tools and information which will help us on our journey towards success and achievement. The potential to earn everything which we want is within us all, and the playing field is more level now than ever before. So, why doesn’t everyone have everything which their heart desires ?! Simply put, your desire has to be matched with a will to succeed and a determination to work as hard as it takes earn whatever it is that you want.