Focus Only On That Which You Can Control

The world is a confusing place full of conflicting advice. So much so that we are never quite sure what we should be doing, how and who we should be listening to. This leads to us feeling overwhelmed, and easily led by others.

Too often, we ignore our gut instinct and what we already know, and instead turn to social media or our social circle for guidance. We look for someone who seems to have it all together and be on the right path, and try to remodel ourselves on them instead.

In doing so, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment, because you are not them and do not know the circumstances which brought them success. This is a game of chance, not a well thought-out strategy. It’s pointless focusing on things which you can’t control. Your focus should be on yourself, what drives you and what you want. Copying others will not automatically bring you the same results as them. It’s more likely to lead to lead to further confusion and frustration. You can’t control what others do, how they do it or the results which they might achieve. So, stop trying.

There are 5 things in life which you definitely can control, though;

  1. The books you read. Why are you reading? Is it for entertainment, or is it to gain knowledge and support your personal and professional development? Be more selective in your reading material, as the quality of what you feed your brain has a big part to play in the quality of your life and what you can achieve.
  2. The risks you take. Taking risks is scary, but it’s also the only way to achieve greatly and lead a fulfilling life. Naturally, people close to you will warn you to play safe, but you don’t always have to do what others say. I’m not advising recklessness, but that calculated risks can lead you to great places. It’s your life, and the choice is yours as to how you live it, so why not take some risks and prove the naysayers wrong?!
  3. Your perspective. You are the only one who can judge the quality of your life. You know who you are, what you want and what makes you happy. Therefore you know how much of the good stuff you have in your life. It’s not for anyone else to judge, because we don’t all share the same needs and are definitely not motivated by the same things. Someone motivated by money and material wealth might look at another and judge him harshly for having a lesser car and smaller house, BUT that person might have a job which he loves, a comfortable home and a family who we loves dearly. Don’t look at what others have and judge yourself harshly. Look at what you have and ask yourself whether you are happy. It’s all about perspective.
  4. Who you spend time with. It is perfectly natural to outgrow a relationship. After all, we all change as we grow. Our lives go in a different direction, our priorities change and our needs change. Don’t be afraid to cut somebody loose if they no longer support your dreams and ambitions. You don’t need to keep negative influences in your life, just because you have been friends for a number of years. The choice is yours as to who you surround yourself with.
  5. How kind you are to others. No matter what life throws at you, and how you might be feeling inside, there is never any excuse not to treat others with kindness and respect. Being kind to othersis a choice which costs nothing, yet it lifts you as well as the person to whom you’re being kind. Try it. Do something kind for somebody else, even if it’s just a kind word, and see how it makes you both feel.

Successful people do not sit around focusing on what others may or may not do. They focus on themselves and what they can control. That’s where their time and attention goes, and that is why they achieve great things. So, if you do want to copy something from successful people, let it be this; inward focus. Divert your attention to your own development, your needs and goals, put the work in and enjoy the results.

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