Imposter Syndrome, where you feel inferior to others, or that you lack the experience, knowledge or skills to do something, is a lot more common than you think. We all experience it. In fact, everybody would like a little more confidence or self esteem. Many of us go about it the right way, by stopping to regularly reflect on our lives and take a long hard look at ourselves. This is a great thing and everyone should be doing it. It’s how we determine whether we are heading in the right direction in life or whether we need to make an adjustment. BUT we are our own worst enemy and doing it all wrong. The problem is that we tend to see the worst in ourselves every time.
- We make up imaginary “what if..” scenarios and fear what people might say about us if we attempt to do the things which we truly, in our hearts, wish to do.
- We reflect on our goals and dreams, only to tell ourselves that we can’t do it.
- We tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough
- We tell ourselves that it won’t be worth the hassle
- We tell ourselves that our circumstances are different to everybody else’s, that they are harder and nobody would understand.
We are all experts in identifying what’s wrong, only to follow it up immediately with the excuses and justifications which we need to hear, in order to convince ourselves of the pointlessness of doing the work to change it.
We are led to believe that things are the way that they are, and we should just accept them and feel great about ourselves. But even when we do learn to accept things as they are, we still don’t feel great. The problem is that we are being told that feeling great about ourselves is a right, and correcting the issue is as simple as saying “I love myself”.. This is the biggest load of rubbish.
Think about it. Why would you have self esteem, self worth, self belief and confidence if all you do is skate through life doing nothing, contributing nothing, impacting no-one and living with no purpose? Anyone who thinks that they can develop these qualities and feel amazing about themselves by sitting around and watching Netflix, is clearly deluded. The truth is that;
- Self esteem is earned
- Self worth is earned.
- Confidence is earned.
- Self belief is earned.
These are not gifts or traits which you are either born with or inherit. These are assets which are earned through hard work. It’s this work which silences the negative inner voices, and helps you to become more confident.
If you want more self esteem, self worth or self belief, you need to do the difficult things which scare you. Keep doing them until they no longer make you break out in a cold sweat. They build confidence and they build character.
It’s natural not to feel great about all areas of your life. We all have our doubts, fears and insecurities but some of us hide them better than others. To tackle this, and build genuine confidence, you need to put the work in to push your limits and challenge yourself. Every single day.