Of all of the questions which we ask ourselves every day, there is one which we often overlook. In failing to consider this question, we often end up leading unfulfilled lives with no direction or real purpose. That question;
What Do I Want?
is NOT “What does society tell me that I should want?”
and DEFINITELY NOT “What do my family and friends want for me?”
This is a deeply personal question, and is all about what you desire for yourself. You, and you alone. Don’t worry about others’ opinions. If they care about you, they will take time to understand and respect your wants, desires and decisions, even if they conflict with their own. Those who have a problem with you chasing what you want in life? Forget about them, because you don’t need their negativity infecting you.
Determining exactly what you want in life requires some actual work, though, so grab some paper and a pen. On this paper, write the following questions, and leave enough space under each question to write down the thoughts which immediately come to mind;
- What do I want personally? What relationships do I want to have? What do I value most in my personal life? What would I like more of? What kind of legacy do I want to create?
- What do I want professionally? Am I happy in my current role? What can I change to improve my current circumstances? Would a career change make me happier, and give my life more meaning?
- What do I want financially? What is my goal in terms of salary? What would earning more give me – freedom, security, comfort..?
- What do I want in terms of health and fitness? Am I happy with my current physical state? Do I feel healthy? Do I have vitality and energy? Am I eating healthy and exercising regularly, or is that something that needs to be addressed?
This is one question, broken down into the 4 main areas of life. Even if you have done this exercise previously, revisit it because as we learn and grow, our needs and desires change. Make sure that your “wants” clearly reflect the direction in which you want your life to be headed. It’s your life, nobody else’s, therefore these choices are yours alone. When you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve in life, you make better informed choices and decisions. Because you know where you are headed, you make the decisions and take the actions which will take you closer to your end goals. No more drifting through life.
Stop waking up with no direction and just taking life as it comes. Living is not a passive process, so stop treating it as such. Don’t sit back and let life just happen to you. Worse still, don’t sit back and wait for good things to come to you before you have put in any work. Forgive me for my negativity, but life does not work in this way. Decide what you want to attract and achieve in life. Turn these desires into specific goals. Now, break these goals down into a plan of action.
With a clear idea of what you want, and a plan of how you will achieve this, all that is left is to wake up each morning with the hunger and determination to take steps towards achieving your goals. This gives your life structure and purpose. Every day, you are striving towards your goals, and learning, developing and growing as a person in the process. Stop leaving everything to chance. Or would you rather wander aimlessly through life waiting to get lucky and have good things happen? Personally, i’d rather not waste time waiting, but go out and make good things happen. Decide what you want, and go after it with all you have. All day. Every day.