In a recent post, I made the claim that pain is a necessary evil in our lives. I stand by this. If we reflect on it and learn from it, pain can be a springboard to success. As with most other things, though, it’s up to the individual what they will make of it. For pain to be a force for good, it requires reflection and a lot of hard work. The easier option is to find someone or something to blame this pain and failure on, and give up.
Pain can come in many different forms. The most common tend to be the emotional trauma of losing a loved one, the break-up of a relationship, falling short in pursuit of your goals or physical pain. Pain is very rarely something which we seek (unless you like tattoos) and usually just happens to us. More often than not, we are unwilling participants when pain strikes. For example,if you give your all in an interview and don’t get the job, the resulting pain is a consequence of falling short in one of your goals and not an act of self-sabotage. We can’t control the actions of others or the outcomes of all situations, but we can control how we react to them.
One thing that tends to stand out when you study the lives of great men and women, is that at some point they faced adversity, hardship and pain. What separates them from everybody else, however, is how they bounced back from these negative situations. Media mogul Simon Cowell lost everything at age 35. J K Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, was a struggling single mother. Yet both have overcome adversity to become hugely successful in their respective arenas. Why? Because they believed in themselves and did not give up. They learned from failure and rejection, and it molded them into the people they are today.
Successful people welcome pain as a force for good, because it forces them to adapt, grow and redouble their efforts. They do not seek to shift the blame, but simply get to work. It’s not easy, but the person you can become and the things which you could achieve if you bounce back strongly make it all worthwhile.
What will you do with your pain? Will you let it break you, or will you let it redefine you?