Be Yourself

Half the world is composed of those who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it

Robert Frost

In your daily life, how much time are you spending just being yourself? Social media, magazines, tv programmes and our family and friends place us under the constant pressure to dress and behave in a certain way, for fear of being rejected. We become a different person in the workplace too, because we hope it will lead to us being accepted as part of a team or boost our chances of promotion and progression. Outside pressures or the enticement of potential rewards, essentially, lead us to becoming actors. We say or do things, in the presence of others, which we normally wouldn’t even think about.

Under this crippling pressure, countless people buckle and become someone else. An average person might go as far as juggling several personas; the work one, the social media one, one that they adopt around friends and family, and then there’s the true self. The real identity. The real person, who comes out when nobody else is around and the pretence is dropped. Underneath all the smiles, how happy are they when they juggle multiple personalities?

Putting on an act can be exhausting, but also troubling mentally. After all, if you suppress your true personality and identity in order to become someone else, you are essentially living a lie. Furthermore, you have to remember which lie you need to be living, and act to be putting on, according to your current surroundings.

Be mindful of what you say and do. Pay attention to how you present yourself to others. Are you being true to yourself, or are you just putting on an act and playing to the audience?

Conforming to outside pressures and putting on an act can, over time, lead us to forgetting who we really are. Before you contemplate becoming someone else to satisfy others, ask yourself whether it’s really worth it. If you want to change for yourself, then that’s great. BUT if you are going to do it to please someone else, think carefully. After all, if  someone else does want you in their life, in whatever capacity, why can they not accept you as you are?

I once put on an act when in a former relationship. I did it to impress the girl, and it worked. After a short while, I revealed my true self and we had a great relationship. Until I started spending more and more time in the company of her incredibly judgemental and condescending family. So, stupidly, I put on an act to win their approval and it worked. Until I decided to stop pretending and be myself. Then it quickly unravelled and quickly ruined everything. Under pressure to be accepted I lied and lived a lie around them, only to later reveal my true self. Can’t blame them, I should have been myself from the start. Painful as it was when I lost everything, it served as a very valuable lesson. Just be yourself. You might think that by putting on an act, you will be accepted better by others, but soon the mask will slip and people will see the real you. Even if they like the real you, it’s all over as you have essentially lied to them and destroyed their trust.

Being yourself is the most liberating feeling. Of course, it might ruffle some feathers but those who want any kind of relationship with you will accept you as you are.

 

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

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