The Blame Game

This has to be one of the most popular games in modern times. Unfortunately, it also happens to be one of the quickest and easiest ways to ensure that we never fulfill our potential. The game itself is easy to follow and there are very few rules. In order to play, you must simply list everything in your life which has not gone according to plan, which you consider to be unfair or which makes you unhappy. It’s best to list these on paper so you don’t lose track. Once you have your list, you then take each item in turn and list who or what it can be blamed upon. You must not list yourself against any of these items and doing so will result in instant disqualification. Don’t worry about situations, circumstances or causes, all that matters is that you have a scapegoat. The quickest person to find a scapegoat for all of their issues is the winner.

Sounds ridiculous, right?! Of course it does, yet countless people do this, whether they realise it or not. When things go wrong, we take the easy route and look to assign blame for it. I say “we” because I am far from perfect, and just as guilty of this as everybody else. This route is attractive because it requires minimal effort and absolves you of all responsibility for what happens in your life. This is the passive approach, waiting for things to happen, before bemoaning your helplessness and giving up. It’s also the approach favoured by low-achievers. With this being the easy route, it stands to reason that there must also be a more difficult way to deal with our issues.

The difficult route is the one which requires hard work. It can be uncomfortable, but also offers the greatest rewards. The easy route appeals to us because it simply requires us to determine who or what else is at fault for our problems, convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do about it and then give up. The difficult route, on the other hand calls for reflection and action.

The difficult route is the route of responsibility. When things fail to turn out as we had liked, the first thing to do is carry out a post-mortem. Carry out a thorough investigation of the circumstances which might have led to the situation in which you find yourself. Look for clues which could reveal errors in decision making or missed opportunities. Revisit your strengths, and determine how they could’ve been better used to succeed. Also look at your weaknesses, and determine where the gaps in your knowledge or abilities lie, before taking action to remedy them. In time, if you choose this route often enough, you will adopt a more proactive approach to life. Rather than waiting for things to happen, you will go out and make them happen. You will discover just how much power you have over the course which your life is to take, and do everything within your power to ensure that you fulfill your potential and live the life you crave.

Stop blaming others for your circumstances. Your actions and decisions have led you to the point at which you find yourself. There are, of course, some things which are out of our control, and can’t be helped. Stop dwelling on these but focus instead on what is within your power. There is no limit to what you can achieve when you stop feeling sorry for yourself and instead feel driven to succeed in the face of adversity. Adopt this mentality and mindset,and you can start taking ownership of your life. Adversity and failures will then stop halting your progress. Instead they will just be another challenge to be overcome through persistent effort and hard work.

Once you change your perspective and approach, you will realise just how much control you have over your life. More importantly, however, it will become clear that if you are wasting your talents, skills, knowledge and opportunities, you only have yourself to blame.

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